Speaking the Truth in Love

In Ephesians 4:14-16, Paul wrote concerning Christ’s goal for the growth of the church. He stated that Jesus, after His ascension, gave gifts to men (v.8). Paul also explained the purpose of those gifts: to bring about the complete revelation and understanding of the faith (v.12-13). These gifts had been given to bring about maturity in the church. And so Paul reasoned with the Ephesians, following that same line of thinking in the next few verses. One phrase Paul used has become particularly popular lately, and we find it in the beginning of Ephesians 4:15: “…speaking the truth in love…”.

Often it seems this phrase is understood as, “Tell me the truth, but make me feel good about myself at the same time”. Although that thought is pleasant, it does not seem to match with the context of the phrase.

In verse 14, Paul wrote to them about their life as Christians and about their responsibility to plant their feet firmly in the revelation God has brought. That means identifying and standing against doctrines brought by men with trickery, craftiness, an deceitful scheming. Standing firmly against the many winds of doctrine that blow in the religious world is synonymous with speaking the truth in love (v.15). Firmly rejecting one teaching falsehood and removing him from a teaching role in the church will not result in happy feelings, but according to this passage it is speaking the truth in love.

Paul also wrote that we are to “grow up” in all aspects into Christ. No child is happy to receive correction and discipline, but God does both in love for our good (Hebrews 12:5-6). We are told to use the truth not only to teach what is right but also to offer correction when feet are straying from the God-lit path (2 Timothy 3:16-17). The time for correction, while not pleasant, is still accomplishing “speaking the truth in love” and is pushing us to continue growing up into Christ.

In Ephesians 4:14-16 Christ’s goal for the growth of the church is an internal one. He desires for us to help each other grow up by letting love motivate us to speak the truth to each other in a way that builds up and encourages when in the right, and corrects and disciplines when in the wrong. When the truth is spoken in love, it does not always make you feel good, but it will always show you the way to please the Lord. When the truth is spoken in love, focus on how you may be more pleasing to the Lord, instead of how the unchanging truth of God makes you feel. As you let God’s love change you through His truth, your walk will become one that He considers worthy of the call of Christ (Ephesians 4:1).